Co-Dependancy

[Kuba "The Demon Slayer"]

What an important subject for relationships on every level. I personally have had a long hard battle overcoming Co-dependecy in relationships, but the more I grow in Christ over the years God has given me allot of success over this problem. I think allot of Christians neglect this topic. What do others think?

[kattimae]

Co-Dependency...wow that's a mouthful. I think that a lot of us start out in any relationship (parent-child, friend to friend, significant-significant, spouse-spouse) with the intention of being of the most help to them as possible. We really want to help. As we get to know that person better and get more deeply involved, we sometimes lose our perspective. We are drawn to close to the flame that they are hovering around. This is one of the reasons we need to cling closely to the Lord and ask for His help, strength and guidance as we travel down the road of friend,family member,significant other or spouse.
God always has "the perfect perspective" !!!! It is up to us to constantly remember to turn everything over to Him.
The most important question I think one needs to keep in mind when helping, advising, befriending someone is this " Am I helping this person be a better person or am I helping them continue to hurt themselves or helping them justify an idea or habit and baking up their denial?
This is the kind of thing one should be asking God.
God Bless, katt

[Kuba "The Demon Slayer"]

Dealing with Co-Dependency also means working on your own boundries too I think. Defining where we end and others begin. It is not always about the other person. Yes we need to love others, but we need to love our selves too. So yes, to some degree it is about whether or not we are helping the other person or enabling them, but it is also about whether our relationship with the other person is helping or hurting ourselves and than being able to make a decision on how to take care of ourselves. I know it sounds a bit selfish, but it really isn't selfish to take care of yourself and not allow yourself to be taken advantage of.